and called it Google Feeds.
Just so you fully appreciate what I go through for you: this week’s tour of Hell was made even more torturous than usual by the roughly thirty-six thousand articles about a certain third-rate entertainer who beat up his girlfriend and then took his crocodile tears to Larry King. I would rather be lashed to a hot slab and have my innards pulled out, roasted over an open fire and masticated slowly by a scaly, b.o.-reeking demon than read one more word about that asshat.
- Oh, snap: Barney Frank handles the dining room table from Planet Moron who compares Obama’s plan for health care with Nazi policy.
- Article Title of the Week: You Scream, I Scream, We All Scream for (Gay Marriage) Ice Cream! Sweet.
- Badass: What woman “blew the minds of the entire intellectual community like an unstoppable mushroom cloud of face-melting science” back when women were still considered to be TSTL?1
- RIP Ted Kennedy: So many icons dead this summer. Is the apocalypse coming or what?
- Fierce: Did you know that Beyonce is possessed by the devil? It’s totally true.
- Ain’t to proud to squat: DO NOT WANT more shit to drag around.
- Today in Creative Rationalizations for Sexism: Pimps are people, too.
- Kiddie porn: Apparently there are a bunch of supposed adults who think Pole Dance toys are a harmless reflection of little girls’ desire to emulate adults. The chicken-shit, deliberate cluelessness of these people makes me want to ground them in their rooms for the rest of their lives.
- Ack, after that, I need funny: How about these guys. BTW, what is it with the English and cross-dressing?
- Speaking of going girlie: I am an unapologetically girlie girl. So if anyone were to put any of these gorgeous things under my tree this Christmas, particularly the bra, I would not turn such a gift rudely away.
- Fear of a Black President: Some parents don’t want Obama talking to their kids because the Nazis told their kids to stay in school, too.
- Sick and wrong (but so damn funny): The Teaches of Piggy.
- It’s baaaaack: School starts with swine flu. Did you know this virus can be traced back to one adorable little towheaded pig-licker? Figures.
- TSTL = Too Stupid To Live. I had to look it up. [↩]
