Last two weeks I’ve had trouble sticking around Hell and all its gleeful Negative Nellies. I sit down to read the feeds with the best of intentions, but within five minutes I’m eyeballing that “mark all as read” button and before I know it, boop! They’re all gone. Here are the few I managed to read before the wipe-outs:

• Post Title of the Week: Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced. And the post itself is good, too.
• BTW: Barbie is now too fat. Come on, you knew it was only a matter of time!
• Balloon baloney: I was as spellbound as anyone by the balloon boy story until the article I was reading mentioned that his father just happens to be an alum of the Wife Swap reality show. Is anyone seriously surprised this might have been a hoax? What, a confirmed attention whore pining for his long-gone 15 minutes of fame creates a fake news story? Never!
• The Male Gaze strikes again:  Poor men. Some of them just cannot cope rationally with the women’s romance genre. Which is to say they have a problem accepting women’s desire when it does not conform to what they want women to desire. To wit, the latest from Esquire: Edward Is Twilight in his loafers, and that’s why adolescent girls want to have sex with him. Ladies, the take-away: men who profess their undying love for you, desire you so much they can barely restrain themselves (but they do), and spend more time with you/thinking about you than they do scratching their balls in front of the tube = GAY! Mystery solved.
• Men We Love: The National Organization for Men Against Sexism is having their 34th annual conference in Portland this month; their theme is Men, Sex and Justice.
• Men We Hope Burn in Hell:  And speaking of sex and justice, Polanski should get in prison exactly what he gave to that 13 year old girl. Because after all, the “so-called crime” of unconsentual sodomy isn’t “rape-rape.”
• So Hillary Clinton works more than she poses for the camera. Apparently, this is bad. Only Hillary could get criticized for doing her job too much. Oy.
• Now you can get custom-made leather fetish wear for your toddlers. Shut up, haters – we’re totally not sexualizing our kids! It’s just good clean fun, like those stripper pole toys!
• It’s National Racist-But-Not-Racist Month! First the old man and his “nigger rig it” sign, then the justice of the peace who won’t marry interracial couples. They aren’t racist, they just stand up for what they believe (In between lynchings.)

Ladies, strapping yours across your chest, not your shoulder, can help deter these thieves!