I found this on my doorstep today:

Picture the scene: A harlot is sitting on the back of a fearsome beast. The beast has seven heads and ten horns. Whom does the harlot represent? She exerts influence “over the kings of the earth.” She dresses in purple, uses incense, and is exceedingly wealthy. In addition, by means of her spiritual practice, “all the nations are misled.” The Bible helps us to see that this harlot is a worldwide religious entity. She depicts, not any one religion, but all religions that produce rotten fruit.”

And I am grateful.

In this classic Jehovah’s Witless pamphlet – “The End of False Religion Is Near!” – I see one of the few great accomplishments of the modern United States: Religious freedom. I love this priceless specimin of deep-seated misogyny: evil as harlot, dipicted with sweet camp as a raven-haired Bollywood starlet holding a chalice (natch), head thrown back in laughter as she straddles the back of a seven-headed tiger. I love the text’s bashful homophobia – “Neither fornicators….nor men kept for unnatural purposes…will inherit God’s kingdom.” I love that as it preaches unconditional love of others, it simultaneously condemns all other religions as trees that produce rotten fruit.

Dog bless these crazy Jehovah Witlesses… and Mormons, Scientologists, Moonies, Jim Jones, David Koresh, Heaven’s Gate, and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I’m grateful for the Catholics, Presbyterians, Lutherans, Methodists, and Unitarians. I’m thankful for Muslims and Christians and Buddhists and Jews and Taoists and Wiccans. I’m happy for fanatics and atheists.

They’re all symbols of hard-earned religious freedom and today, my hat is off to them — because without them, a cornerstone of our country’s democracy would be a big fat sham. And because if my gig as Christian Bale’s kept woman doesn’t pan out, I can always deify myself – cult leaders make serious bank.

[tags]religious freedom, democracy, Jehovah Witlesses, Mormons, Scientologists, Moonies, Jim Jones, David Koresh, Heaven’s Gate, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Catholics, Presbyterians, Unitarians, Lutherans, Methodist, Muslims, Christians, Bhuddists, Jews, Taoists, Wiccans, fanatics, atheists[/tags]