While you were out…

Brain’s back from wherever it went, apparently unscathed, just a few telling grains of beach sand in the crevices.

Meanwhile, I’ve been stashing blog post fodder in the empty space. I don’t have time to give all of them the attention they deserve - little things like my job and old episodes of CSI eat up a considerable amount of my spare time - so here’s the Reader’s Digest version:

A couple of high school girls got suspended from school for uttering the word “vagina” during a staging of (wait for it): The Vagina Monologues. Elsewhere on Planet Fear, a movie theater had to change its marquee to The Hoohah Monologues after an incredibly repressed irate local woman complained that the original title would warp her daughter. Post title: Vagina Vagina Vagina!

All through the shameless exploitation that was her teens, Britney Spears was hypersexualized and worked like a dog. Predictably, her young adulthood is a wreck of Frankensteinian proportions, littered with husbands, divorces, babies, drugs, alcohol, rehab, shaved head and tatoos. Just as predictably but without the excuse of innocence, Americans fire up the torches and head for the castle. Post title: Tears for Spears.

Is it possible to gain 10 pounds and get smaller? You betcher barbell, baby, as I discovered at a recent visit to the doctor. Post title: Hand Me That Piano.

In its infinite wisdom, the 8th Circuit US Court of Appeals decided this month that it’s not discriminatory for health plans to refuse to cover birth control for women, even when they cover preventative medicines used only by men, as well as Viagra. Post title: I Guess Abortions Are Out Of The Question.

The final Harry Potter book, Deathly Hallows, is 784 pages long (how many bed-time stories is that?) and will be printed “at least partly” on recycled paper. Environmental awareness is expensive, but at the list price of $35 per book (twice what the first HP book cost), Scholastic should be able to handle it. And if not, author and billionaire J. K. Rowling can pay for it with the million or so in change she’s got in the bottom of her purse. Post title: Harry Potter and the Grudgingly Green.

Vocab of the day is pseudomamma: “an unusual presentation of supernumerary breast tissue” (as in hair follicles, eccrine glands, sebaceous glands, nipples and fat tissue) that grow where no boob has grown before. Pseudomamma has been found on people’s faces, backs, thighs and most recently, the bottom of a foot. Post title: I Want To See “Pseudodaddy.”

Technorati Tags: The Vagina Monologues, Britney Spears, weight lifting, birth control, Rogaine, Viagra, abortion, J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter, going green, pseudomamma

Filed under Get Smart, Gynophobia, Healthy, Pop Culture |