- James Hearn: Fear not.
- Jo: I just finished
- Jo: Oh, gosh!
- Uppity: In other words,
- Jo: Nah. Men
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Harry Potter Widower
July 22nd, 2007
My woman has thrown me the keys to her blog. You see, she is far too engrossed in that damn Harry Potter and the Geeky Unwashed to sit down and correspond with the likes of you and me. She has prepared a couch nest, in which she has stored various candies and teas, blankies and tissues, pillows and bookmarks. She is in it for the long haul, it seems.
And so am I.
It all began yesterday at 10:36 A.M. when an obviously pissed UPS driver delivered the book to our door. Poor Mr. UPS guy had a truck filled with Harry’s last outing. He looked like a guy who had a long day ahead of him and had already heard every possible lame-ass Potter joke. He did not care that he was bringing the last, crucial component of my sweetie’s nest.
The box was torn open, nephews shooed away, and reading began.
Now in the interest of full disclosure, I’ll admit that I read the last chapter while my sweetie was getting one of the boys ready to go home. I felt this was justified - I needed to know if I should lay in a stock of hard liquor in case “the boy who lived” became “the boy who lived until page 648 of Book 7.”
Since we have a no-spoiler policy in the house, I can’t list the after-reading provisions and preparations. But I can list the while-reading requirements: Food that can be eaten with one hand and won’t leave grease stains on the book, bottled water, chocolate, wine, silence.
She started Saturday afternoon. One day later, she’s somewhere around page 400. That’s a little more than half way. Tonight, I will feed her turkey and mashed potatoes. The tryptophan will help her sleep after a long day of limited physical activity. I try to predict all of her needs before she knows they’re needs. It’s easiest that way for both of us. She doesn’t have to pull her bloodshot eyes from the book to croak “Accio wine bottle” at me. And I don’t have to know what “Accio wine bottle” means.
I know I’m not alone. There must be millions of folks providing support for the world’s Potter junkies. We fetch drinks and make lunches. We deliver books and fluff pillows. In a few days, we’ll be rewarded with the return of our loved ones.
Until then, we get to use the computer for a change.
Filed under Kevinsylvania |7 Responses to “Harry Potter Widower”
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That was excellent, I laughed my fanny off! I’m sure there are other “Potter Widowers” out there, I see a support group in your future! And what does “accio wine bottle” mean?
I was cracking up, too, because my dear hubby can certainly relate. I finally finished the book, but alas, I have lost him to Star Wars, the Lego Version on XBox 360.
Darlene, you’ll have to read the books and find out!
LOL. great post! I lucked out this time (and had the foresight to order two copies of the book) so there was complete silence in our house this weekend.
She’d better watch her back - seems as if someone has some competition. Fun post, thanks Kevin.
Somehow, we missed the Harry Potter widowdom in our house. Methinks it was because my darling knew she’d have the house to herself with me working nights. Thank you, Mr. Fixer, for an thoroughly enjoyable post sans-spoilers!
That was great Kevin! Rach should let you write more often! Gives us a break reading about that damn cat Baxter! LOL
Steph
I too will chime in with the kudos for Kevin crowd! Nice post there Kevin Pot Pie! I’m assuming you now have your sweety back? Love you both!