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Who’s afraid of the big bad pussy? Part 2: Pussy Control
August 24th, 2007
Last time on our program, we learned that it behooves a girl to wear her purity on her sleeve, for in this way she publicly proclaims her obedience to one of the most cherished of religious tenants: that the state of a woman’s twat is everybody else’s business.
There are few things more integral to most religions as female obedience. When half the population has a hundred percent of the pussy, it follows that finding ways to make them do what you want would become rather important.
Thus proving that obsession is the father of invention, the Bible was born, springing forth, Zeus-like, from the heads of six or seven guys who lived with their mothers. According to them, God’s plan really only has two talking points: there’s the pussy, and there’s The Boss of The Pussy. The rest is just details.
If everyone follows the plan, pussy management is as easy as the Whore of Babylon. But every once and a while, one of them is bound to get uppity, and that’s when a guy has to read her the fine print:
“And god said, let there be spanking!”
No really, that’s in the Bible. A footnote in Leviticus, I think, right after the part about not eating meat on Fridays or stoning Jews before noon.
Now heaven knows faith-based domestic violence can be a trial in this law-happy modern age. But if God had wanted the fearing to suffer alone, he wouldn’t have created online support groups.
“Get a cup of coffee and make yourself at home” over at Christian Domestic Discipline: Loving Wife-Spanking in a Christian Marriage.
Though we believe the Bible gives a husband the authority to use spanking as one tool in enforcing his authority in the home with or without his wife’s permission, in today’s world we recognize the legality that mandates that all CDD must be consensual. Therefore we will do not condone nonconsensual CDD as a rule.
This site has a plethora of “articles” and blog posts proclaiming pussy paddling as the path to peace, but they all boil down to the same ol’ thing:
- a man owes it to his wife to hurt her, lest she and her fledgling self-respect leave in the dust what God hath joined in matrimony;
- God gave women a role (doormat? punching-bag?) and it’s their sacred obligation to fulfill it;
- who let the feminists out?
Then just as I was nodding off, my eye fell upon the link for the CDD Store. 100% cotton CDD-logo wife-beaters? I had to know. I clicked.
Crotchless pantaloons.
Though we recognize by its very nature this subject can be erotic, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God’s plan.
Ohhhh, that kind of plan. What’s God’s Safe Word?
Technorati Tags: Christian Domestic Discipline, spanking, gynophobia
Filed under Gynophobia, Religious Batshit |10 Responses to “Who’s afraid of the big bad pussy? Part 2: Pussy Control”
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WHAT???? I don’t believe this shit. Christian S&M is what is sounds like to me.
Amy, look at it this way - these uber-conservatives have something in common with a certain group of uber-liberals. How deliciously annoying to them that must be.
Let me get this straight - Does this mean that these people are basically, um, closeted S&Mers posing as conservative Christians? And by touting all the biblical imperatives for this lifestyle are they saying Jesus His Ownself was into the spankin’zie stuff with Mary Magdalene? WTF?!?!!!
And read the bios of the so-called writers. They are scary-boo. Uppity, I think maybe we finally might have a niche market for that little soap opera via installment we wrote together so many years ago! (WInk…)
[…] Who’s afraid of the big bad pussy? Part 1 and Part 2 […]
I know what I want for Christmas now - a CDD paddle!! Complete with studs depicting the path of Jesus’ life and maybe some of the more pertinent biblical passages etched into it for that little extra Christian flair
I wonder if Divine Interventions would be interested in marketing them? (Warning: This site is a little on the truly tasteless side)
I’m curious as to how you “stumbled” upon this CDD site?
Ardasule, I LOVE your idea.
Amaya, it was all purely (hehe) research. Uppity seems to stumble on a lot of things, “accidentally”.
Hmm… I wonder if El Fixer knows what she’s been surfing…
El Fixer is the one who showed it to me.
Luckily, he looks awesome in ass-less pantaloons!
Ardasule, the link you gave is quite inspiring… in fact, I feel a blog post coming on…
Lisa, I think CDD would make a GREAT soap novel! “Night of a Thousand Spankings” ?… “The Rogue Who Spanked Me”…? Hmmm