Christmas, oh where can you be?

Dear Christmas,

I’ve been waiting since the end of November, but there’s no sign of your cheer yet. Was it something I said?

I have made no Christmas cards and written no yearly Christmas letter.

Kevin actually put up the lights on the house and garage on his own volition, without one nag from me.

Our tree didn’t even go up until way after the first of the month, and even then, it stood bare and dark in the corner for a few days until we took pity on it and decorated.

I adopted a family again this year, but had all the gifts bought, wrapped and delivered within three days. I was fast, efficient, and precise. A donation machine. It’s almost like it never happened.

For friends and family, I’ve bought a total of three gifts…and there’s only twelve shopping days left…

As for me, I want nothing.¹ I have no needs, and I already have enough fun stuff to keep me entertained all year.

Where you at, Christmas?

Maybe you’re around here somewhere and I just haven’t noticed. Come to think of it, a few other things have competed for my attention these past few weeks…

Been very busy at work wrapping up four years’ worth of work as an investigator before I move to a new job in an editorial group next Monday. Happy to be moving on to something new, but sad to leave old friends.²

My perpetual fatigue and increasing exercise intolerance has led my doctor to think I may have developed a leaky heart valve. So I’ll be seeing a cardiologist soon. In addition, looks like my scoliosis may be compressing my lung capacity, so I have to have an X-ray for my back before I suffocate.

Ray Bradbury once said, “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” My post-NaNo hang-over has not been fun, though not un-fun enough to prohibit me from doing it again next year.

Wrapped up as I’ve been in all this nonsense, it’s no wonder your spirit has eluded me. I’m sure you’ve been here all this time, Christmas, waiting patiently for me to stop ignoring you.

But you can’t keep a good holiday down. Sometime between Thanksgiving and today, a pile of empty tins appeared on my kitchen table. Now they are calling to me…things about homemade cookies and gourmet candy and distribution by December 24th.

Don’t give up on me, Christmas, and I won’t give up on you.

1. Except some new footies because mine are falling to pieces, and Kevin’s got that covered in one five-minute trip to J C Pennies. [↩]
2. I had a dream last night that I was defending actions taken by my old team during a conference call with my new team. Mother Hen is leaving the nest. [↩]