Happy Monday

February 27th, 2008

chickencubicles.jpg

Well, it’s Monday for me, back to work after a long weekend.

Like Dilbert, Savage Chickens know the truth: In offices across the globe, cubicles are routinely sprayed by midnight mercenaries with an invisible, odorless creativity-killing substance sold only to Inc.s and Corp.s.

This toxin seeps into the fabric on the walls, coats the chair seats, sticks to the the keyboard keys, hangs in the air like a noxious fog. Once you cross the threshold of a cube, it’s on you like white on rice. At this time, there is no known remover; it has to sort of wear off, like Superglue. (Don’t pick at it - you’ll just make it worse!)

Besides general zombification, other typical side effects include weight gain, compulsive internet surfing, and YouTube-addiction. A certain subset of cube-dwellers will also develop Buzz Tourette’s, a disorder characterized by uncontrollable regurgitation of such phrases as “think outside the box” and “moving forward” and “take it offline” and “customer centric.”

Several days into an extended period away from the cubicle, healing may begin. You may feel this substance begin to flake away, creativity slowly coming back to life…which, of course, is about when you have to go back to work.

But I’m not bitter. Moving forward…

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2 Responses to “Happy Monday”

  1. James on February 27, 2008 8:00 pm

    I live in a cube farm.

    Watch this video (at least the first half, but it’s all funny.)

    http://www.clipstr.com/videos/ConanVisitsIntel/

    It’s Conan O’Brien at Intel. You’ll *love* the cube stuff. Yes, my work looks *exactly* like that. The end has FUNNY cube stuff with kids..

    “I think the grey works very well with the grey… which works great with the bluish-grey”.

    BTW: I sit at D11. :)

  2. Uppity on February 27, 2008 8:48 pm

    Wow! Resistance is futile - you will be assimilated! Present company excepted, James, of course. ;) Funny video, and I especially liked some of the viewer comments… “What’s the suicide rate for Intel emplyees? Any one know?”

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