Ah, the blogosphere. It has made obsolete the reliance on word-of-mouth, and the even archaically slow print media, for important information like celebrity gossip. It allows us to read, practically in real time, about the most intimate experiences of rich famous people we don’t know.

And I, for one, am thrilled. Ten years ago, it would have taken me days, if not weeks, to hear that Margaret Cho got a “G-shot.” And even longer, probably, to figure out what the hell a “G-shot” is.

Thanks to the internet, I did not have find out the humiliating (and decidedly less hygenic) way by asking for it at the nearest trendy bar.

“G-shot” is a trademark name for “G-spot Amplification.” Which is a gentrified way of saying: getting a shot of collagen in a particular part of the vagina that very possibly does not exist.

Making your inner vajayjay look like Angelina’s lips supposed to enhance your sexual pleasure. Well, I’m all for enhancing sexual pleasure…except when it involves sticking needles into my hoohahical region in order to inject synthetic material into it. That just seems, well, counter-intuitive.

According to the G-shot inventor’s website, the list of complications associated with the procedure includes “a sensation of always being sexually aroused.”

That’s a complication?

Alas, the inventors admit, the risks also include, but aren’t limited to (I just copied the best ones) the slightly less arousing side effects listed below.

I notice the primary effect experienced by Ms. Cho did not make this list. Shame on those chicken-shitted physicians!

“We admit that this procedure can result in infection, vesico-vaginal fistula, and embolism… but, dammit, not donut pussy!”

Risks and Complications of the “G-spot amplification”:

Infections
Urinary retentions
Allergic reactions
Hematoma (collection of blood)
Collagen site ulceration
Urethral injury (tube you urinate through)
Hematuria (blood in urine)
UTI (Urinary Tract Infection)
Urinary Urgency (feel like you always have to urinate)
Urethral vaginal fistula (hole between urethra and vagina)
Vesico-vaginal fistula (hole between bladder and vagina)
Dyspareunia (Painful intersourse)
Need for subsequent surgery
Scar formation (vaginal)
Urethral stricture (abnormal narrowing of the urethra)
Local tissue infarction and necrosis
Overactive Bladder (OAB)
Exposed Material
Pelvic Pains
Collagen injected into the bladder or urethra
Erosion
Damage to nearby organs including bladder, urethra and ureters
Intractable pain
Alteration of the female sexual response cycle
Psychological alterations
Relationship problems
Decreased sexual function
Possible hospitalization for treatment of complications
Lidocaine toxicity
Embolism
Nerve damage
Permanent numbness
Sexual dysfunction
Collagen migration

By the way, ladies, did you know you have a fornix? I didn’t until I found the anatomy drawing posted above. Learn something every day.

[tags]g-spot, g-shot[/tags]