Doing the desert, Island style

Kaua’i has desert. Did you know that? I didn’t, until yesterday.

The West Shore of the island is the driest and hottest, yet ironically, it is almost all beach. Most of it’s not even named; you can just stop your car anywhere on the highway and walk over to the surf.

We decided to go to the most remote beach possible. To get there, we drove the bumpy dirt road through Polihale State Park. That Park looks and feels a lot like Wyoming, complete with shirtless locals driving their grubby trucks with 97 dogs in the back.

Along the way, we passed the Pacific Missile Range Facility. While I frown upon missile testing as a rule, I was pleased that because of them I had wireless service through which to send cell phone images to Flickr.

The beach itself is long and white and beautiful – it would be packed with sun worshippers if it wasn’t so out of the way. Plowing through the sand dunes to get to the water, we felt very Lawrence of Arabia.¹

At the very end of the beach is a big pile of lava rocks. Thus begins the Na Pali coast and unless you have a boat, you are done touring the western shore. We took off our shoes and walked up to the end and back, then stood for a while and watched the waves erase our tracks.

The cliffs of the Na Pali Coast are where the Hawaiians believe their dead jumped off into the next world. If there were no ancestors waiting to meet them, these confused spirits would wander around the earth indefinitely, and sometimes attach themselves to inanimate objects. That’s why it’s kapu (taboo) to take anything from the beach; you might get stuck with a spirit trying to get home. I’m glad I’d read about this before I saw that tempting burnt-out motor in the illegal fire pit.

On the way back, we stopped for shrimp. Kevin had something so pungent that when he burped in the confined space of the car, I got to experience his meal, too. Then we went to Salt Pond Beach, a large, manicured beach with many babies. We would have gone swimming but the water near the shore had a suspicious yellow tint.

Next stop was Glass Beach, which I promised Bayou we would see. This small beach is delightfully located between an industrial center and a fragrant dump.² But the shore is very cool, sparkling with glass that has migrated from the dump and been ground soft by the waves. In fact, if the amber hue is any indication, Glass Beach appears to be made entirely of beer bottles. We didn’t take any sand for a souvenier, but I saw another woman do it. It took all I had not to warn her that she could very well be taking home the wandering spirit of an alcoholic.

We got home and went out for dinner at a nice restaurant, where Kevin could see our waiter, Brian, pounding beers in the kitchen, and everyone could hear the couple behind us torturing their waiter like Sally in When Harry Met… I had two mai tais and so of course was in bed by 9.

This morning we went to Waimea Canyon. We went there a couple years ago, but the cloudy day had taken a lot of the spectacular out of it. Today the weather was as fine as could be and it was gorgeous. The drive up is still in the relatively arid western part of the island, but the Canyon itself is lush and verdant. The lookout is at 4,000 feet above sea level, high enough to see “the wettest spot on earth” in the distance, and I don’t mean the Space Needle. It’s Mount Wai ‘ale ‘ale, smack in the center of the island.

I don’t remember the drive back down the Canyon road - that was when the 85-degree heat, 4,000-foot altitude, and yesterday’s mai tais caught up with me and I passed out.

I woke up in time to cajole Kevin into going to the famous trinket store outside Waimea. I bought some coral necklaces and a carved rock. I offered to buy Kevin one of those wooden masks, but he said he knew better after seeing that scary Brady Bunch episode.

Now we are back at the condo in Kapa’a, where we feel perpetually covered in dew after the dryness of the west shore. The surf has been very high all week, so no swimming tonight. That leaves just food and mai tais. Darn.

Technorati Tags: Hawaii, Kaua’i, vacation

1. Did I mention we’ve gone through a bottle and a half of sunscreen? White desert robes are in short supply here. [↩]
2. The things I do for you, Bayou dear! [↩]