As you may recall, “Operation Living Room Makeover” turned into “Operation Living Room and Partial Dining Room Makeover.”

The “partial” part means buttery-putty paint and a chocolate brown area rug for underneath the dining room table. Both are finished and fabulous – which means, of course, that I must recover the dining room chairs.

Yesterday after work I went shopping for a coordinating fabric. I didn’t have anything specific in mind, other than no flowers (I love real flowers, but flowery fabric on furniture is too old fashioned for me) and no plaid (“I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok…”).

After a pleasant hour of hunting and gathering, I had narrowed it down to a few options. I ultimately chose a pattern that seemed interesting – geometric, not too girlie or woodsman – and had the brown of the carpet, the putty of the walls, and a soft grey in it. Perfect!

That evening, with Kevin and Stephanie in audience, I unfurled the fabric with a flourish. Imagine my horror when it dawned on me just what I had done.

I had spent thirty bucks on fucking pixelated desert camouflage.

Why I did not notice this until I got home I do not know, but I suspect it has something to do with Major Burnside.

Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

I’m not blaming him. I just think that the last twelve years spent watching said Major get dressed up in his little outfit and go serve his country once a month has made an insidious, heretofore unrecognized stylistic impression on my brain.

There’s no way I’m having this war-machine fabric in my dining room, though if I did I suppose it’d be some consolation to know we were sitting on it.

Question is, what the hell am I going to do with three yards of desert camouflage?

Diaorama time. Kevin’s toy soldiers are long gone so I had to use this 70′s-era Storm Trooper he found while cleaning out the crawl space. You can hardly see him.

[tags]design, decorating[/tags]