He: Why are you grumpy?

Me: Because my story isn’t working.

He: Write another story, then.

Me: I don’t have any other stories.

He: Well… [thinks] Write about an exploding cat.

Me: That’s the kind of thing YOU write about.

He: Ok, well…Then how about you write about an anorexic vampire. An anorexic vampire who won’t eat.

Me: If a vampire doesn’t eat, it wastes away.

He: Just like in real life. An anorexic vampire and the trials of finding a therapist that works at night. Poor vampire with a terrible body image. [pauses] Which is weird because vampires can’t see themselves in the mirror. How would they get a bad body image?

Me: [can't talk, laughing]

He: Bambi the Anorexic Vampire.