Teaser photo

Sunset over Salt Pond Beach on our last day in Kaua’i.

I’m spending my Saturday morning uploading the best trip photos to Flickr. I’m sure by the end I’ll be wondering why I ever came home. Oh yeah, my mortgage.

After reviewing the photos, I’ve decided one of the reasons I like Hawaii so much is the prevalence of bright colors in nature there. Red, purple, yellow and orange are everywhere, not just in planned gardens.

As opposed to the Pacific Northwest. PNW is beautiful, too, no doubt about it, but somewhat monochromatic, even in spring.

Did you know native PNW’ers have 50 words for “green”?

UPDATE: I’m done! View my Kaua’i photos here.

Technorati Tags: Kaua’i, Hawai’i, vacation, photography

Goodbye sun, hello…hail?

Got back today from our trip to Kaua’i. Were feeling pretty smug when we heard it snowed in Seattle whilst we were enjoying this…

Alas, pride goeth before a fall. Of freaking hail.

Details on our last couple days in paradise forthcoming… as soon as I recover from the red-eye flight and the shock of 33-degree weather in April.

I need another mai tai.

Technorati Tags: weird weather

Mai Tai Twitchy Eye

One of the things I love about Hawaii is the language. You get to say things like “Pupu (pronounced poo-poo) Road” and “Hanapepe” (hah-nah-pay-pay) and “Mount Wanahakalaugi” (wanna-hock-a-loogie).¹

The street names are 99% vowels. When combined with natural weathering, this can make for challenging navigation, as the signs all look like “ A U KO AI H U ROAD.”

The sun was blazing yesterday – perfect for a day at Poipu Beach. It was busy but not so much that we couldn’t find us a shady picnic table to which we could retreat when sunned out.

We spent the entire day ping-ponging between our shade and the water. The high surf rolling in to the semi-protected cove made for excellent bobbing waves, many with smaller after-bobs. Not a lot of snorkeling action, unless you wanted to go further out and risk pissing off the lifeguards. I wouldn’t have minded being rescued by one of those hotties, but Kevin might have taken issue.

We interrupted our lounging/bobbing cycle for lunch at a nearby restaurant. For dessert we split a huge Hula Pie, which they tell us is made of 100% free-range hula girls. I only had one mai tai and still had to recuperate in the beach chair for an hour.

Then we bobbed some more, lounged for a bit, and then lo and behold, it was time to eat again. (Funny how time flies when you are doing nothing.) Went home, took a quick shower, and went for dinner. My mai tai sent me to bed at 8:30.

Speaking of mai tais: To my consternation and Kevin’s amusement, something in this cocktail gives me muscle twitches in both eyes. Specifically, a muscle twitch just under my left eyebrow and one at the top of my right cheekbone. Every time. And the stronger the mai tai, the bigger the twitches. I’m a walking mai-tai-o-meter. It’s a dirty job…

I was awakened at 5 am this morning by thunder and lightening. The light show has stopped but the rain hasn’t. Today is as wet and cool as yesterday was dry and hot. Kev and I are having a lazy morning (one of our few, so it’s kinda nice) and soon we’ll head west. It’s literally always sunny on the western shore as it’s in the rain shadow of the wettest spot on earth.²

Technorati Tags: Kaua’i, Hawaii, vacation, mai tais

1. OK, so there’s no actual mountain of that name, but there may as well be. [↩]
2. Not Seattle. See previous post. [↩]

Doing the desert, Island style

Kaua’i has desert. Did you know that? I didn’t, until yesterday.

The West Shore of the island is the driest and hottest, yet ironically, it is almost all beach. Most of it’s not even named; you can just stop your car anywhere on the highway and walk over to the surf.

We decided to go to the most remote beach possible. To get there, we drove the bumpy dirt road through Polihale State Park. That Park looks and feels a lot like Wyoming, complete with shirtless locals driving their grubby trucks with 97 dogs in the back.

Along the way, we passed the Pacific Missile Range Facility. While I frown upon missile testing as a rule, I was pleased that because of them I had wireless service through which to send cell phone images to Flickr.

The beach itself is long and white and beautiful – it would be packed with sun worshippers if it wasn’t so out of the way. Plowing through the sand dunes to get to the water, we felt very Lawrence of Arabia.¹

At the very end of the beach is a big pile of lava rocks. Thus begins the Na Pali coast and unless you have a boat, you are done touring the western shore. We took off our shoes and walked up to the end and back, then stood for a while and watched the waves erase our tracks.

The cliffs of the Na Pali Coast are where the Hawaiians believe their dead jumped off into the next world. If there were no ancestors waiting to meet them, these confused spirits would wander around the earth indefinitely, and sometimes attach themselves to inanimate objects. That’s why it’s kapu (taboo) to take anything from the beach; you might get stuck with a spirit trying to get home. I’m glad I’d read about this before I saw that tempting burnt-out motor in the illegal fire pit.

On the way back, we stopped for shrimp. Kevin had something so pungent that when he burped in the confined space of the car, I got to experience his meal, too. Then we went to Salt Pond Beach, a large, manicured beach with many babies. We would have gone swimming but the water near the shore had a suspicious yellow tint.

Next stop was Glass Beach, which I promised Bayou we would see. This small beach is delightfully located between an industrial center and a fragrant dump.² But the shore is very cool, sparkling with glass that has migrated from the dump and been ground soft by the waves. In fact, if the amber hue is any indication, Glass Beach appears to be made entirely of beer bottles. We didn’t take any sand for a souvenier, but I saw another woman do it. It took all I had not to warn her that she could very well be taking home the wandering spirit of an alcoholic.

We got home and went out for dinner at a nice restaurant, where Kevin could see our waiter, Brian, pounding beers in the kitchen, and everyone could hear the couple behind us torturing their waiter like Sally in When Harry Met… I had two mai tais and so of course was in bed by 9.

This morning we went to Waimea Canyon. We went there a couple years ago, but the cloudy day had taken a lot of the spectacular out of it. Today the weather was as fine as could be and it was gorgeous. The drive up is still in the relatively arid western part of the island, but the Canyon itself is lush and verdant. The lookout is at 4,000 feet above sea level, high enough to see “the wettest spot on earth” in the distance, and I don’t mean the Space Needle. It’s Mount Wai ‘ale ‘ale, smack in the center of the island.

I don’t remember the drive back down the Canyon road - that was when the 85-degree heat, 4,000-foot altitude, and yesterday’s mai tais caught up with me and I passed out.

I woke up in time to cajole Kevin into going to the famous trinket store outside Waimea. I bought some coral necklaces and a carved rock. I offered to buy Kevin one of those wooden masks, but he said he knew better after seeing that scary Brady Bunch episode.

Now we are back at the condo in Kapa’a, where we feel perpetually covered in dew after the dryness of the west shore. The surf has been very high all week, so no swimming tonight. That leaves just food and mai tais. Darn.

Technorati Tags: Hawaii, Kaua’i, vacation

1. Did I mention we’ve gone through a bottle and a half of sunscreen? White desert robes are in short supply here. [↩]
2. The things I do for you, Bayou dear! [↩]

Pussies in Paradise

or: Seattlites: The Other White Meat¹

Yesterday we went beach-hopping with the rich, the famous, and the hippies.

The North Shore of Kaua’i is what they mean when they call it “The Garden Isle.” It’s all lush tropical beauty flanked by soft, white-yellow beaches. This is where celebrities buy their summer homes and the hippies camp until their stash runs out.

We decided to start at Ke’e Beach and work our way down. Ke’e is “the end of the road,” where the driving stops and the hiking begins, if you want to experience the mysteries of the rugged mountainous coast. We did not want mystery. We wanted a vegetative mental state.

We got there early enough in the day that once we’d walked a ways away from the moms and naked babies, we had the beach to ourselves. It was too early and the surf too rough to swim, so we just walked along the beach and gawked at the beauty. And tippy-toed past a snoring monk seal who’d beached himself for a snooze in the sun.

While we were there, we checked out Waikanaloa Cave, a “wet cave” dug by the fire goddess Pele for her lover. She abandoned it after it filled with water (like, duh).

From there we drove down to Lumaha’i Beach, a great big beauty made famous by Mitzi “Wash that man right outta her hair” Gaynor in the film South Pacific. Hippies pitch their tents on the grass and play their guitars; some of them lay in the sun adding another layer of cancer to their mahogany skin. Dredlocks, more naked children, hippie-mobiles, the whole scene. I was jealous of it all - well, except the cancer part.

We lubed ourselves up with sunblock and plopped down for a little sand time. Within about half an hour, Kevin knew exactly which part of himself he forgot to put lotion on; he sat in the shade and still burned his lily-white feet. Hoping to cure my vitamin D deficiency, I lay in the sun, maxing out at a whopping 15 minutes. I did remember to turn over at the 7-minute mark, like a rotisserie chicken.

The surf was still very rough, which made for spectacular waves. Several local guys with death wishes went surfing and boogie boarding, keeping us entertained for a while.

At about noon, we decided it was time to swim and drove down to Anini Beach. This beach has the rep as being the safest for swimming due to a long, fringing coral reef half a mile out.

By then the sky was partly cloudy, so we waited for a sun break, then waded into what Kevin called “the icy waters of the Hawaiian Arctic.” I called him a pussy and he finally went under. Which took some intention, as the water doesn’t go over your waist for the first forty feet. I love to swim but I’m paranoid about rip currents, so I was a pussy, too, and didn’t go out very far. But hey – it’s Hawaii! Just bobbing like otters in five feet of water is fun.

We reached our sun tolerance around 1:30 and packed up to go find lunch. We drove back down to Kapa’a and stopped in at Scotty’s BBQ, where we dined about forty yards from the beach.

Aside: Remind me to save mai tais for evening. I have discovered that rum, while irresistable when mixed with pineapple juice, makes me very buzzed very quickly, and then very tired. Yo ho ho and I need a nap.

After I sobered up a little, I dragged my butt behind Kevin to the Kilauea Lighthouse. It was built in 1913 on the northernmost tip of the island and as such, has a view to die for. We watched birds soar over the ocean to their nests on the bluffs, and marveled at the vastness of the sea. It so big, we so small. I kept an eye out for whales or dolphins but none came by to play that afternoon.

It was about 5 pm when we got home. We bbq’d some tuna for dinner and then, like the super-pussies we are, collapsed in bed by 8:30.

I don’t know what today will bring – but I’ll be sure to report back on the adventure.

1. A friend of mine recently went to India, where the locals told her, “You are very white. White like chicken.” [↩]

Sand in my pants

The days start out with scattered clouds, but the sun burns them away by noon. Evenings are often cloudy again, nature’s balm for the hot afternoon. Mellowness pervades all. Ahhh.

Apologies for the belated posting; it’s been a much-needed break for me from all things computer-related. Plus the Kapa’a Sands Resort people told me I had to be at the pool to access the wireless… Apparently they don’t realize one can get it when sitting on one’s lanai, watching the waves. Sweet.

Our first day in Kauai was “settle-in day.” We originally rented a tiny studio-type condo that was really noisy at night (near the road). I asked if we could move, not expecting to be successful, and they just happened to have the Taj Mahal available: a two bedroom, two bathroom, two-story suite. It’s spic and span, quiet as could be - just the sound of the surf. We feel quite spoiled with luxury.

Our last vacation to Europe was so planned out, this year we want no agenda. We’ve just been winging it day by day, which works just fine here. Kaua’i is small enough that if your activity on the East Shore is closed, just drive to the West Shore and do something else!

The only thing we’ve had to plan in advance was the helicopter ride, which required reservations. That was the day before yesterday and it was great. It started out a little iffy - a sudden rain storm drenched the heliport just as we were boarding. But we soon discovered that when it’s raining on one side of the island, it’s sunny on another. The ride was awesome, and I only got scared once, when we hit a little turbulence. The scenery was spectacular - my pictures don’t do it justice, of course.¹ We wore headsets so the pilot could point out all the cool landmarks, including the waterfall featured in the opening sequence of Fantasy Island. ²

After the ride, we drove somewhere to eat, and realized we were right up the street from one of the Botanical Gardens.³ We had just enough time to get there for the last tour of the day. Botanical “gardens” on Kaua’i mean a huge expanse of jungle, complete with rivers, man-made water features, the beach, bridges - and in this one, a house and a guest house that were built by the owner of the land until he donated it for the Garden. It took 2 1/2 hours to tour, an hour and a half of that by foot. Our tour guide was wonderful - a smart, funny, and laid-back botanist named Anela who won Kevin’s approval by saying the Grateful Dead is the best band in the world.

After that busy day, yesterday was chill day. We went to a park beach in the morning. The surf was pretty rough so we swam in the protected cove. The waves were strong enough to crash over the rocks and provide some quality “bobbing,” which is what we named floating on the swells the last time we were in Hawaii. Speaking of which, after my near-death experience last time⁴, Kevin is pretty paranoid that a killer wave has my name on it. He’s turned into Marlin from Finding Nemo - “I’d feel better if you played on the sponges.”

Being white kids from Seattle, we reached our sun tolerance around noon and went for lunch. Fish tacos - yum. Then we went to the Market nearby so I could get a beach dress and some pink shorts with “Kaua’i” written across the ass. Then, exhausted from all the activity, we went to the pool at the condo for a few hours. I swam and Kevin read. Kevin’s already read an entire book, while I can’t seem to concentrate enough to get very far. My brains are still recharging and don’t want to be taxed with the effort of multi-tasking.

We had dinner at Wahooo Bar & Grill - a wahoo is the fastest fish in the sea. The Grill sits next to a coconut grove, built by some enterprising young man who didn’t know how long it takes coconut trees to mature. (He’s now a not-so-enterprising old man.) Donkeys wandering in the grove bellied up to the fence by the patio, and a stray kitty with an ouchie-eye waited for scraps.

Today we go to the North Shore to see what we can see.

The pace of Kauai is slow and the locals are extremely nice, even to tourists. Maybe it’s because there are fewer of us; it’s not perpetually sunny here like Hawaii and Oahu, and there is virtually no nightlife as Kaua’i lacks any real cities. Kauai doesn’t attract hordes of partiers. It’s the place to go when you just want rest and relaxation.

I could live here, seriously. I could telecommute - doing technical writing from the beach. Not sure about the market for aeronautical engineers, though. Too bad Kevin doesn’t know how to fly a helicopter.

1. You’ll all have to make do with crappy cell phone pictures for now. When I get back, I’ll post the ones from the camera. [↩]
2. There was a little guy beside it pointing at us. De helicopter! De helicopter! [↩]
3. There are five national botanical gardens and four of them are in Hawaii. [↩]
4. ”Do not turn your back on the ocean.” Truer words never spoken. [↩]