Old Grey Bonnets

This is a video of Kevin and me in a parallel universe where we have been married for 62 years and both play the piano. Note that butt-grabbing appears to transcend space and time.

Pirates who don’t do anything

Shiver me timbers, it’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day again!

Celebrate with a cuppa yer fav’rit grog an’ this gang of bloodless scallywags.

The lyrics to this masterpiece of silliness are too funny not to post.

I’ve never plucked a rooster
and I am not too good at ping-pong
and I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
and I’ve never kissed a chipmunk,
and I’ve never gotten head lice
and I have never been to Boston in the fall

More utter nonsense after the jump. (Thanks, Kris, ye saucy wench!)

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Chat Noir

In protest of A Day Without Cats on the Internet, I bring you The Cat Piano. Which I might have done anyway, shocking ailurophobic campaign or no, but still. Watch it and know that the coolness of Cat can never be suppressed.

I heart the latest short film by The People’s Republic of Animation, narrated by Nick Cave.

We’re gonna have a good time

Being a music-lover is awesome because that means many of your friends probably are, too. This greatly increases the chances that you will get serenaded on your birthday.

This year I got two songs, which I am trying to figure out how to transfer from my answering machine to my computer so I can save them for posterity, they are that funny.

But the love doesn’t end there - I also got a video version of one of the birthday songs, which thanks to YouTube I don’t have to learn DOS to save.

That adorable little baby in the video is Zoe. She has osteopetrosis, and recently had a bone marrow transplant. Her music-loving mom is Kellie. She has no hair because she recently donated it to charity. Both of them are recovering well, and you can see more of them here.

Technorati Tags: osteopetrosis, music, The Beatles

I’m getting older, too…faster and faster, apparently

May 25th is the day that I, along with my fellow free citizens, take time to honor the many women and men who have served us.  It is also the day that I, along with me and myself, run to the bookstore for a momento to honor Mr. Fix-it’s latest successful orbit around the sun.

Kevin is a year older than me but claims that from some mysterious mathematical perspective, that 365-day length of time somehow gets shorter and shorter the older we get.

So does that mean if we live long enough, we’ll get into negative numbers?  Will there be a brief, shining moment when we were born at exactly the same time, and then we start going in the other direction, like Benjamin Button? Will I be Cate Blanchette to his Brad Pitt?

Anyway. This is for the child within your heart.

good-ass mothah likah

Technorati Tags: Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry

Champagne toast to Earth Day

Going green doesn’t have to be snooty - let the Guide Girls prove it to you.  (Where can I get one of those flying nun hats?)

Technorati Tags: Earth Day, Guide Girls

Kindred spirits, we haz dem.

I’ve written my share of rants about the bizarre cultural trend of sexualizing little girls, as evidenced by the rising popularity of padded bras, thong underwear, and stripper poles for eight-year-olds.  As depressing as such things can be, it’s heartening to know others are just as pissed off about them as I am.

Nine Deuce’s post on “making your 6 six year old sexy as fuck” via quality mother-daughter time at a day spa managed to make me laugh and cry (and throw up a little in my mouth) at the same time.

Hey, if you don’t get her used to the idea early on that she exists on this Earth to be looked at and lusted after, she might get the foolish idea that she’s a human being, and we all know that leads to disappointment, frustration, and a sense of unfairness — and then on to FEMINISM! And we wouldn’t want that. Men don’t want to fuck you, what power have you got as a woman?

Word.

Technorati Tags: feminism, misogyny, sex

More on men, hose, and hair extensions

Just to get this out of the way right now, allow me to bastardize Margaret Cho-does-Karl-Lagerfeld:  Of course I am a fag hag, dahling. I am fanning the flames of my fag-haggery.

Actually, my bona fide fag hag days are a thing of the past. No longer are the majority of my male friends gay, by natural attrition rather than any choice of mine. But fag-haggery is something a girl is born with; it’s part of her DNA, like hair color or pore size. It may change, but its always a part of you.

Note that being a fag hag doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll also adore drag queens. But if you have any flair at all for the creative and dramatic, they’ll capture your imagination like honey to a fly.

In my case, its more literal.  I am a drag queen trapped in a woman’s sensible shoed body.

What I love most about drag queens is their humor, which is usually far more ironic and intelligent than it seems at first glance. But most of all, I love their to-thine-ownself-be-true-beeyatch attitude.  Men, if you want to know what bravery is, live for 48 hours as a drag queen. (Or a woman, though that’s much less accessible.)

Here’s a clip of now-famous Hugo Weaving and Guy Pearce (Mitzi del Bra and Felicia Gollygoodfellow, respectively) strutting it. Not to mention the film veteran Terrance Stamp, who, it must be stated, makes the worst drag queen ever. Not a bad tranny, though.

Technorati Tags: drag queens

RAWR! Kitty smash!

Why a four minute video of a kitten whap-whap-whap!ping an electric toothbrush is so funny to me, I do not know. Happy Monday.

Technorati Tags: lolcats, kittens do the darnedest things