We’re off to see the wizard

In terms of my writing, NaNoWriMo and its aftermath have given new meaning to “Surrender Dorothy.”

In our last episode, we said a not-quite-tearful goodbye to my 2007 story. I wrote 50K words last year so technically I “won” NaNoWriMo, but I wouldn’t call it a novel. Now if there were a National Mess Writing Month…

I started out last November with a vague idea of a plot and characters that were deliberately silly. I figured one can’t possibly become paralyzed with fear and laugh their head off at the same time.

Which may indeed be true. Unfortunately, my muse doesn’t want to write a silly story and she’s damned stubborn about that. So my story started out one way and ended up veering wildly in a totally different direction, with me hanging on for dear life.

But I didn’t understand this at the time. I figured my story went all mavericky on me due to a lack of knowing what the hell I was doing.

So after NaNo, I enrolled in what I started to think of as “Ed’s Fill Dirt & Writing School.” In the past year I’ve read a ton of books on writing, everything from general essays and memoirs to specific topics such as plot and character. And besides learning a lot, I’ve really enjoyed it.

As I learned, I tried to rewrite. But I got caught up in plotting and creating the specifics of my fantasy world, which required changing my characters’ histories and personalities around (they’re connected in a complicated way). Eventually my characters, though essentially the same at the core, were covered in layers of contrivance. The plot had a premise I still couldn’t make work.

I decided to throw it out. Even though I still had some fondness for the baby, it and the bathwater seemed like a package deal.

But Rib Readers objected. What about that poor baby? It’s done nothin’ to nobody!

So I took another look. I remembered something I’d read recently in on of my course materials: “follow the heat.” Write those things that make your pulse speed up, grab your emotions, burn in your heart. I knew it was true the moment I read it. If you don’t follow the heat, your writing soon goes cold.

So I went back and felt around for the hot spots in the story. I took those, tossed the rest and started again.

To mix my metaphors yet again: now that the muse and I aren’t fighting over the wheel, the boat’s actually getting somewhere.

I still have a long way to go; in fact, I hear no one ever actually graduates from Ed’s Fill Dirt (writers check in but they don’t check out). And I have no idea how this year’s NaNo story will ultimately pan out. There’s truly no place like home, but my muse has only just gotten started down the road.

Coming next: Welcome to my paranormal romantic urban fantasy suspense horror mystery! AKA: Let’s Play “Musical Genres.”

Technorati Tags: writing, fiction, National Novel Writing Month

Caveman just pawn in game of life

As an anthropologist, I’m always amused at how the theory of human evolution can get twisted around to rationalize pretty much any bad human behavior one doesn’t want to give up. (Like eating Oreos. Oreo-eaters were more attractive to the opposite sex during the “black teeth” fashion period.)

As  a feminist, I find the gender-specific distortions especially amusing because they all seem to come from men who are sick and tired of being guilted about sex, damn it.

There’s a great article by Amanda Marcotte in Pandagon today about the ever-popular “caveman” pseudo-science.  Caveman proponents say that men simply can’t help their desire to rape - they evolved to do just that, sowing their wild oats every whichaway whether the chosen field wanted to be plowed or not.

Problem is, these theorizers stop short of actually providing evidence indicating rape was something the fittest human males mastered. Coincidence? I think not.

Then there’s my other fave, the middle-aged man’s tried-and-true rationale for the temptations of adultery. It goes like this:  “Men are supposed to want to do those small-waisted, big-boobed, nubile young girls. Their bodies signal fertility, and a guy’s inner caveman always wants to propagate his genes!”

Um, then why are the women who most closely resemble this pre-pregnant siren also physically incapable of having children?

As Natalie Angier writes in her book Woman: An intimate Geography, women with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome are a caveman’s wet dream:  Good skin, great hair, full breasts, tall stature - even naturally nude armpits.  They frequently become supermodels in western culture.

And yet, these uber-hotties that seem designed specifically to drive man into a oat-sowing frenzy couldn’t carry a child in a bucket. They have no uterus.  So much for the Baby-Making Barbie theory of cheating.

If evolution points to anything, it’s the development of human choice.  As Marcotte puts it:

The evidence suggests not that men are “programmmed” to rape and cheat, but that human beings are equipped with large brains and an ability to weigh a series of options, and that the choice to rape or cheat is made by a creature that evolved precisely to be reactive to its environment in complex ways.

And that’s called raining on your parade.

Technorati Tags: evolution, psuedo-science, androcentric theories

Pumpkin carving in Kevinsylvania

Kevin and I carved pumpkins this Sunday with my sister and her kids. Because we are such good role models.

“Pukey the Punkin” by Guess Who. Rest of the photos are here.

Technorati Tags: Halloween, pumpkins, silliness

Arthur Fonzarelli, Barack Obama, and Ron Howard (with hair)

This video actually reminds me of the huge crush I had on the Fonz when I was a kid.

Oh, you can laugh it up now, but he wasn’t a superstar back then for nothing! He was the tall, dark, naughty-but-nice “rebel with a heart of gold” for a generation. And he could start up mechanical devices just by whacking them - how many heartthrobs of today can say that, huh?

Anyway, don’t forget to vote - for happy days to come.

Technorati Tags: Ron Howard, Henry Winkler, the Fonz, Barack Obama

I have a head cold. Amputation may be the only cure.

I am still alive, ye Ribs, but suffering from the Unbearable Longness of Head Cold. Very sorry for the radio silence.

The Stages of Human Evolution

I cannot stop laughing at this picture today…

Anthropologist humor, I guess.

Technorati Tags: humor, politics, theory of human evolution

Uncle Dan, what does ’sodomy’ mean?

Dan Savage wants to be the “cool gay uncle” to Sarah Palin’s kids, from whom they can learn about birth control, abortion, gay-osity and other things Sarah wants to make illegal.

Must.have.that.poster.

Technorati Tags: Dan Savage, Sarah Palin, religious asshats

Republicans have NO SHAME

An interesting “misspelling” of Barack Obama’s name on the election ballot in New York:

A typographical error on a New York county absentee ballot gives voters there the option of electing “Barack Osama” as president in the upcoming U.S. election, instead of Barack Obama.

I’m so totally disgusted, I can’t even rant right now.¹

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama, Republican asshats

1. Hat tip to Lachlan for the link…I think [↩]

I fart in their general direction

It’s “Q4 crack-down” in the work world, which means I’ve had long-ass days at work this week, filled with “high priority” projects (whatev) and the requisite last-minute requests from asshats whose own lack of planning has naturally become my emergency.

Take that, oppressors!

Hat tip to Jo for finding this long-lost photo of me.

Technorati Tags: Wonder Woman

Works every time…

Happy Monday…

Technorati Tags: technical writing, work, chickens