Dreams of snuggles, karaoke, and Brad Pitt

So I was reading dooce’s latest where she recounts her hilarious dream about being asked to roast Brad Pitt and mentions that he has been at the top of her List for ages. You know, the List everyone has of People They Are Allowed To Have Sex With, If The Opportunity Presents Itself, Without Getting Dumped By Their Actual Significant Other.

Which got me thinking about Lists and who is on mine and the fact that Mr. Pitt, as intergalactically hot as he is, is not. In fact, he has never cracked the top ten. He’s somewhere down in the thirties, though he rises temporarily into the mid-twenties every time I see Fight Club. Angelina Jolie, on the other hand…

Anyway, so what do I dream about last night? Apparently in an alternate universe, I am on Mr. Pitt’s List. In this dream, he follows me around some office building, trying to chat with me. Once he succeeds in that, he moves on to attempted snuggles. The whole time I am thinking, “Why are you hanging around? You are a big star and I hardly know you. And I have work to do.”

I must admit that he finally did win me over, to some extent, and snuggling did commence but it was very chaste. I began to wonder if I should kiss him, just to see if it was any good or if I was wasting time that could be better spent filing.  So I kissed him and he looked surprised, which I found very amusing and prompted me to say, “It’s my evil plan!” and laugh.

Which is when I woke up. I lay there for a few minutes, thinking that dreaming about being pursued by #36 is a seriously WTF way to spend the night. But wait, there’s more.

I fell back to sleep and dreamed that I was at karaoke, except I wasn’t singing, I was doing engineering for these two musicians. One of them had some kind of instrument like a triangle from Mars — a silver rod all bent into a million contortions that she would whack with another silver rod and make music. Sometimes she’d tap the bent rod and it would keep playing a melody for several minutes. It was fascinating.

And then she is done playing and people start leaving and I pack up my engineering crap into this huge duffel bag and out of the corner of my eye I see Mr. Pitt and his entourage get up from a table and come toward me. I’m thinking, Has he been waiting this whole time? He’s wearing his big mirrored aviator glasses. He walks up and says hi and we both pick up the duffel bag at the same time. I’m like, Dude, I can carry my own duffel bag.

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Emphasis mine

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life.’ I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou

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today is my birthday

And I am blogging with Molly, my new iPad. she takes some getting used to, but even so, I can tell this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have a pithy and insightful post about turning 42, but today I am too busy playing with my toy.

Posted in Miscellany, Uppity Me | Leave a comment

When they ask to see your gods

A Child’s Catechism

When they ask to see your gods
your book of prayers
show them lines
drawn delicately with veins
on the underside of a bird’s wing
tell them you believe
in giant sycamores mottled
and stark against a winter sky
and in nights so frozen
stars crack open
spilling streams of molten ice to earth
and tell them how you drank
the holy wine of honeysuckle
on a warm spring day
and of the softness
of your mother
who never taught you
death was life’s reward
but who believed in
the earth and the sun
and a million, million light years of being

–J.L. Stanley

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Sleeping with butterflies

Did you know that vampires are very close relatives of butterflies?

In the story I’m writing, I’ve created a lot of “vampire science” so it’s fun to read others’ take on things in the same vein.  For instance, vampires have super-strength like many other insects. My favorite is how science shows that “insects don’t breathe like we do, nor do they possess a human heartbeat.”

I must say I’m glad I haven’t had to try to shine any light on how vampires sparkle. And since my male blood-suckers’ weenorial units are just remnants of their former human lives with no functional value, I haven’t had to drill down on sex and spawning.

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